Choosing to Wait

Misconceptions on waiting till marriage by Connie Dia and Bolaji Gelax (Miss Flowery)

Celibacy and Abstinence, we are walking down this road again only this time around iam not alone and be sure to follow Bolaji Gelax on https://gelaxchatroom.com/have-you-been-celibate-celibacy-vs-abstinence/

She has a beautiful series on this topic coming up this weekend you can’t afford to miss it in fact camp there.

Let us delve right in.

Choosing to wait is a choice not to be mocked or be ashamed about. Today we will be tackling some misconceptions people have of those who decide to wait.

People waiting until marriage don’t struggle with sexual desires.

Connie

I could knock your head you think they are made of stone forgive me but what a way of thought.
They imagine your superwoman or man. The desires don’t automatically disappear.

Gelax

There is absolutely no truth in this. How now, did God create people waiting differently from others? Theres as much blood and water running through the veins of those who are celibate or abstinent as there is in those sexually active.

The people who choose to wait just know sex is something to be shared in covenant and honouring God and your temple just become a priority.
Persons who choose to wait because of religious reasons, do so to honour God and keep their body undefiled until marriage.

Waiting is just because we are religious.

Gelax

I can tell you for a fact that is not so in all cases. Yes, the most popular reason is the religious one, but there are many other reasons why a person might decide not to be sexually intimate until marriage. If I wasnt a religious person, I would still choose to wait, because, in my opinion, the benefits of waiting outweigh not doing so.

Connie

Of course, for my end, it’s definitely me wanting to honour God and use the gifts he has bestowed on me accordingly.
Remember, all things can be permissible but not all are important.

I have a friend who I knew she didn’t share my beliefs, but she chose to wait because she had been hurt beyond herself that she couldn’t let herself go off with another man who was not taking her down the aisle.
Many have reasons why they choose to wait, for some, it’s something special they choose to save for their Loved ones, etc.

People who wait are on a high moral ground.

Gelax

First off, not being sexually active outside wedlock is not the only yardstick for morality. In fact, in some climates, it doesnt count. What about those who are waiting but they slander others, backbite, steal or even smoke? How is that for high moral ground? Choosing to wait is not a higher moral ground than choosing not to take whats not yours.
I think people who have this thought are those who think/believe they are doing something wrong by not choosing to wait.

Connie

You cannot escape the disbelief on some people who hear it when they even get a whiff that your waiting. The jabbing questions “Huh you’re waiting in this world of today?” “We men need to test drive before we take a car to our homes,” etc
Some comments are uncalled for, but maybe it explains why some people who wait seem to be ashamed to speak of it.

I am just a sinful human in need of God’s grace each day, and so are you.

If you’re already not a virgin, it’s too late to pursue purity.

Gelax

Lie from the pit of hell. Okay, maybe that sounds harsh, but what iam trying to say is, its just your conscience trying to play a fast one on you. No one, absolutely no one, is too far gone to pursue purity. No matter what your sex life has been, no matter what you’ve done, you can still pursue purity.

If this misconception were to be true, where then do we place 2 Corinthians 5:17? (“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new.”)

Connie

If this could even be a quarter true, we would never qualify to start over at anything.
People are quick to sing, no one is perfect” but fast to hold judgment over a man.

I smile when I imagine the countless and constant reminders in His word that we can be renewed, we can be restored. It may seem crazy for another, but a man who has tasted of God’s grace knows that his love holds no record of wrongs.

So if you are resetting your path, press forward and don’t let the shame accompany it, you can start whenever you make up your mind.

You are a masterpiece, and God has outstretched arms towards you always.

You can choose now to live a chaste life it’s never too late; it’s a worthy pursuit.

There are definitely some advantages to waiting. Many say there is a time when friendship is the glue holding a relationship, and that can be established. You’re prone to learn each other more and develop skills necessary for great relationships

Gelax

Yes, there are advantages to waiting, but please, be sure you understand why you should wait and what you stand to gain from it firstly; dont just do it because.

Having an understanding will help you stand firmer in your resolve to wait.

On a final note, I would like to address those who have chosen to wait but somewhere along the line, found themselves doing what theyve pledged not to do. It is not the end of the road. Do not let the accuser condemn you and make you feel you cant return to the path of purity. You can start over again and make more careful choices, going forward.