How Much is Enough?

Hey FamReads it’s been a while and I really don’t want to blame it on writers block or even on the world happenings.
Have you been watching the news, reminds me of the Bible verse that’s speaks of wars you will hear about but wait!
Who isn’t at war anyway?

My heart goes out to people in Congo, Nigeria and even those that are not trending.
We are not oblivious to what is happening around us and meanwhile in Kampala Uganda we are back to being in our homes by 9pm. You would understand why it’s a joke if you knew half the traffic on these roads it’s just another money making scheme.

So today I wanted to pause the question that we ask ourselves unknowingly  or knowingly.
Did I do enough today? Am I enough?

Well, Are you? Who measures what’s enough?

I came across a tweet and honestly don’t know the person but they said if the situation happening in Nigeria and Congo happened in Uganda would they do the same for us?

It’s sad neh! While others are questioning if they are doing enough. What a way to reassure!

Mandela did a great thing for SouthAfrica but some people don’t known the fight started way before ,blood was shed, riots were made it was a collective effort.

To do big things you must be able to see far. A point to where we can focus our attention.
While you question if you are doing enough, it’s the things you do every day that build into something bigger.

We can’t avoid the naysayers but we can’t afford a sit at their table.
Someone once asked me if writing can change anything and I told them that’s why you teaching your children to read.

There things that may look like they dead now but it’s only Solomon allowed to put up that temple.

You pave a way even when you don’t see it, I like to think that write like you would want the next generation will read what you had to say.

Do you ever wonder how God became the most famous till today?
Surprisingly Jesus didn’t have speed boats or planes, he didn’t have media platforms to tweet or get message across the World etc. He had a few men and till today we speak of the good works.

1 Corinthians 12:26-27 the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance. You are Christ’s body–that’s who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your “part” mean anything.

So have you done enough!? Just do your best and that will be enough.

I missed your call

Some day❤️

I really didn’t mean to miss that call or rather all those calls but somehow the universe seems to conspire in my favour.
First time i heard a great man say the universe is working for you and not against you i agreed wholeheartedly.

Am not sure when it all started ,wish i could shrug my shoulder and sing “I was born that way!” but then i remember the long phonecalls my father almost beat me up because i would delay getting to the dining table, whatever that was i barely remember what it feels like.

Do I know when it started? Maybe maybe not but it became an increased joke amongst my friends. Some were said to my face ,some amongst themselves which I don’t care to know but it wasn’t a big deal to me.

I also seemed to always have employers who were heaven sent they used my easiest form of communication they sent a message and guess I waltzed through life thinking oh this works.

Dont get it twisted I can be quite a talker depends on how well I know the person so as it is because the millennials have a word for everything i recently learned there is such a thing as phone anxiety except I cannot diagnose myself then I would be a self made doctor but is that such a bad thing anyway.
I could be a Doctor.

The plot twist is also the fact that am such an introvert (self awareness is important) yeah am guilty that some phonecalls would happen and I will have a whole conversation in my head before I could pick the phone and high chances are the call has stopped by then.

So on being a Doctor am not fully done with the report of diagnosis but of the missed phone calls i realised how many I miss in a day unknowingly.
When am on the move I rarely ever look at my phone if you have been in Kampala you understand how that’s possible.
Apparently I can’t be on my phone when in a car i get extremely dizzy it’s such a loss since it means i can’t read anything either. For the love of music my headsets are usually fixed in the phone so I may not hear the ringtone unless there plugged in my ears.

See how many explanations I have and the list is endless hence the Doctor is stuck with a load of plausible symptoms and a diagnostic process.

The Doctor advises that smile and pick up the phone anyway.

Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.

You can Fight a Hundred Battles

Not all battles are won but it’s good to know you fought and yet again it’s best you know yourself and then choose.

The greatest battles are those fought within our souls. A recent conversation someone confided in me in their lack of enthusiasm for the things they were doing daily and it had become a battle for them and unfortunately she was losing.
Ask me what we did! Stick around to the end.

There battles I fought and wished i had walked away from sooner ,there battles I didn’t choose to fight and maybe i should have ,there battles i have fought and overcome and pat myself on the back each time i remember then yet again my greatest battles have been those i surrendered.

Part of happiness in life lies in not fighting battles but in avoiding them.
It’s not in knowing how to fight but when to fight.

Have you fought some battles you realised in the end it didnt matter?
Did you know you can choose your battles?
What if I told you not to try to fight your own battles God will do it for you?

The greatest battles are those fought within the chambers of your soul.
Choosing what’s right, what is important, what next , what to believe et cetera.

Today we are fighting endless battles and we lose the agenda while at it.
In a conversation with friends i outrightly said i wouldn’t join feminists ,femrites in their fight mostly because the plot story vanished along the way and today the women fighting know less of how and why such movements where ever started.

The battles are tiring our minds, draining energies all because we don’t choose.
All am saying it’s okay to choose your battles and it’s alright to know that some battles are just not yours to fight.

We say we want peace but don’t seek it, we say we need peace but don’t hold onto it, we say we are fighting for peace and yet we never allow the fire to go out.

Proverbs 25:28 He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.

Choose your battles today and learn to surrender what is not yours.
It is better to conquer yourself than win a thousand battles.
Victory belongs to you.

Ephesians 4:3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.

A Letter to the Man I Zoned

Oh Dear John

#dearjohn #blogchallenge

The first thing that comes to mind is how easy it was to be vulnerable with you.
It was easy to listen to you go on and on because I understood you needed someone to listen to you.
When we first met we were not at our best but it was honoring that you could open up to me. It made me more conscious to protect you even from myself.

Do you understand that when you told me all about your family I understood you better, when you shared of your hard times at work how you were struggling I taught you to see the best version of yourself, when you shared of your past heartbreaks we laughed and I said “look at you now” they would take you back in a heartbeat and still I said ‘you deserved the best.’

Remember how we laughed at the little things, how we shared of embarrassing moments without wondering what either thought, the long walks we took just to get away from the world mostly for me.
You had a way of getting me out of the house you always bought tickets beforehand so I wouldn’t say no. You added to my collection of my dream library even when you didn’t enjoy reading.
When we talked of those that hit on us and always weighed the pros and cons amongst us somehow they were never a fit.

It all started when we talked of our dreams you included me in your dreams more and more. You became more interested in my life we shared but this time you wouldn’t wait you would probe and probe, you started to ask me questions that seemed silly “Did i like that guy? et cetera”

You want to know why I started to pronounce you bro everywhere I went, I know you noticed when it started i sensed your anger and it hurt that’s one thing you couldn’t tell me about.

See you did exactly what i always feared and you proved that we were better friends. Maybe it was my way of protecting what we shared, maybe I never let my mind see us as more, maybe we were just better off friends.

Love always

Letter to the Men that Catcalled me?

Day 6

Dear John,

#dearJohn #blogchallenge

I always had questions for you and your friends but your always in a group and maybe that’s your place of safety or it makes you grow a lion mane i wouldn’t know.

I always wondered how do you see yourself when whistling, making those snide remarks towards me. Did it make you feel pride, stronger enlighten me?

I always asked myself if you had a mother, sister, daughter , Did you ever stop to think  they were catcalling at them too?

I always wondered if it mattered that you were slowly striping me of my confidence. Everytime i saw you with your friends ,my heart broke down inside a little more, my voice stuck at my throat, you made violence come alive in my head everytime i thought to utter back a word I saw myself being overpowered by a bunch of random men and the evils that could happen couldn’t equal to my voice.

Whenever i dressed up i want you to know you are the last person i was thinking about, sometimes I was a girl growing into a woman, sometimes I was exploring my body with fashion most times i was just someone still being moulded.

Could I tell you! You taught me that sometimes silence is the best answer. You taught me that I would never want my sons, nephews to be like you, You taught me that when women say men are dogs it sounds inclusive but they really mean you , You taught me that my daughters, sisters may never be safe with you on the streets.
And one more thing you taught me that one of the must haves is working headsets in my bag.

John I hope you read this letter I really do.
You come in all kinds of shades and I hope you modest enough to recognize yourself and be willing to act how you would want your sisters ,daughters to be treated.
We are not objects we are a masterpiece created with a purpose and may your eyes be opened beyond your ego.
Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Yours truly
The strangeress.

A letter to the man that stood me up.

Day 5

Dear John,

#bloggingchallenge #DearJohn

How i know it must have seemed unlikely that you and i would ever connect.
I only knew you by the bits of gossip that chanced my way am not sure how it all started but i remember distinctly how you looked at me that particular day.

I caught you often staring at me and i relished in that. I guess that’s how it starts that you couldn’t take your eyes off me

After that day it’s like the universe had connived to get us there.
We talked everyday after , it started off with usual updates of our ongoing days it slowly drifted further to becoming open diaries.

I can’t not talk about the times you got me laughing ,see sometimes we just laugh but with you laughter attached itself to me.

There were bad days but you always knew how to make them seem less terrible, some days were so exciting that I had to keep you updated and it rubbed off on you. You shared countless pictures even when you didn’t care about good sides (we girls know these things), you didn’t care what angle your gadgets were in, or that you would crop yourself out of some of the pictures but i didn’t mind it was the beauty.

Weeks grew into months and now i knew your schedule by heart even when i was too tired i woke up to messages from you ,we never got into silly fights of why didn’t you reach me, why did you etc
I figured we had skipped straight to maturity.

Sometimes i hesitated to say things because in a few minutes my money balance would have scored heights somehow you knew without asking.

You did so many things right that i didn’t see how this could begin to go wrong.

We had not seen eachother in a while and i knew it was only a matter of time. All we needed was a dinner to kick start  and jump on waves as we danced to “When God made you he must have been thinking about me”.

The days drew closer for us to meet ,i was not over but beyond the moon. I had so many pep talks i lost count.
I didn’t know how to calm myself anymore just to stop and pinch me and ask myself “How did I get so lucky?”.

The day finally came, we had talked the night before it was all in order you were to arrive late but we would make the time you assured me.
I decided to wait from my home i couldn’t risk being around anyone i was a bag of emotions.

Hours munched away it got late i figured you reached too exhausted and decided to postpone ,yes for once I had to have an excuse for you.

You are tired it’s alright. He has never missed reaching out he’s just exhausted.
He could be feeling under the weather afterall it’s quite a journey.

Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 , A Week passed.

John it didnt matter that you wanted to reach out after all those days.

I wished you had trusted me enough to tell me you were going down a different path.

I wished you had believed in me enough to know I wouldn’t hold you back from what you wanted.

I wished you had given a chance to allow me let you go just to show you once more how mature i could be.

I wished you had been strong enough to say Goodbye.

I know that silence is a strong language because am no stranger to it.
Your silence didn’t only speak volumes it spoke to my past, present and future.

It became a lesson before i could fully absorb it, it became pain before i could put words to it.

Sometimes i still have excuses for you but along the way i realised i can be loved better than you tried and in case your wondering i forgot your phone number.

Yours Truly
Miss Sunshine

A Letter to his Friends

Day 4.

Dear Friends,

When he met up with you, did he tell you about me?
Did he show you the pictures? I just remembered we took some.

Did you notice that we looked happy in the pictures as if we had known eachother for ages?

Did he tell you of the jokes he made?
I don’t know if they are stale or he was just funny.

Did he tell you I didn’t take his number maybe am old fashioned? Did he joke about that too?

We all have friends and i would have been interested to know what kind you were afterall as they say show me your friends and I will show you who they are.

Are you the kind that honors their word?
Do you call when you say you will?
Do you talk about such things anyway?

Are you the kind that believes we find love in rare places?
Are you the kind that believes true love still exists.

Are you the kind that still understands the beauty of a chase or are you waiting for them to shoot their shot?

Are you the kind that ruled out as a group or encouraged eachother to explore their own?

I may never know what kind you were but if I ever arise in the conversations may he know that he lost more than gained and yes we shall never know.

Yours truly

Ps: Join in on the “Dear John” challenge if you can. For more about the challenge.

It gets more exciting ,check out my last post to connect to John’s friends.

A letter to the Man That Never Called.

Dear John,

On this fine day my heart was light, i had a skip in my step and of course i did what every happy girl does. Go buy something nice so while i was not amused with the waiter who was dragging their feet and acting like i was invisible, i was torn between taking the pizza home with me or actually eating it there.

While lost in my thoughts you sat at the same table as we both waited, the wait seemed easier with you.

Yes conversation came off easy am not sure if it was my smile, the hair i had just plaited or maybe my eyes rolling like crazy got you.
Wait ! Maybe i didn’t get you, you got me.
You had that modern look ,the perfume scent reminded me that some men still care of these things, I liked how you were packaged but that was not it it was the joke that got me laughing at myself. Am the serious kind i don’t laugh at myself atleast not till you did that to me.

As we talked i recalled how my friends always told me i need someone who can make me laugh apparently i can come off too serious.
The waiter remembered to be in a hurry after we had started enjoying ourselves. Unfortunately i had decided on a takeaway meaning i couldn’t sit there as you ate with my packed dinner.

See while i was acting all cool and collected but i was already seeing us on the fifth date with me in heels this time round.
So I casually mentioned i was leaving as i eyed the waiter carry the package towards me.
You asked for my number thank God thou i would have preferred you asked i stay who said i was busy anyway.

As I put my number in your phone, i teased you saying call me so i first muster you with questions of “Who are you?”

On my way home i remembered i woke up feeling like the day had grand designs for me. Grand indeed!!

Evening came, i busied myself with preparations for the next day.
I decided to eat early as i await your call i figured it would be better am tucked in bed as we talk.
It clocked 10pm and i thought you are an a night owl like me. I was going to start the call by telling you how i made an exception for you, a call past 10pm then we would laugh as you said something nice.

When it got to midnight ,i was over and done ,mixed emotions now i was angry as if you owed me anything then i worried maybe something happened to you but silly me how would i know i didn’t get your number remember. At some point i got self conscious as i thought of all we talked about did i let on too much? what did i say?

As the clock slowly ticked away i switched off the light and went to bed with my thoughts if he calls tomorrow i won’t know what i would say to him.

Happy Octobery

Who is counting days to the end of the year yet? Happy Octobery fam.
It’s a brand new month and most definitely new tidings come with it.

Many times we are schooled and have mastered the right things to say, the magic words (Sorry, Thank you et cetera as always thought I would turn the tables around. How come it’s taking us longer to learn the things we ought not to say.
These are some of the things have learned along life learning not to say or do to people.

Don’t make promises.

Depending on someone most people make promises for different reasons but you will never be entirely in control to fulfill that promise because well things change always.

Never say Never.

Remember how we threw the never word aimlessly, am sure if you have reasonably crossed a ten year mark in between you know that you have done somethings you said you never would. Just stay away from the word it has a way of coming back to haunt no matter the years.

When inquiring on people’s personal lives ,be sensitive but don’t say “I think that….., I understand…et cetera.

You don’t know anything till someone tells you anything and they don’t owe you , Vulnerability is given its not taken.

Don’t say “I told you so” after someone has an epiphany of something you have been trying to tell them.

We have different learning metres, different times to learn, if they didn’t get it before trust the process. It’s easy to forget that you were once the person who didn’t know better.

I will repeat be sensitive, the moment you tell someone ” You are wrong” they most likely hear “You are stupid.”

Words remain how they feel when you said it lasts way more.

Don’t give unsolicited advice. There is a thing such as timing ,just because it worked for you doesn’t mean it works for them.
Only give advice when it’s asked for, most times when your advice is sound the people will come back around just stay in your lane.

The first mistake in Art is to assume it’s serious.
Making assumptions is dangerous actually very dangerous.

A favourite quote not sure who said it or maybe I owned it as years went by.
“If someone has not said something then it’s non existent” oh and this applies to if you didn’t hear it from them either.

Don’t say “I don’t care” when you do. Let’s own up to telling people we care about them before we have to say goodbye to them the hard way.

There is so much more i have learned not to say maybe some time will do an extensive post for now let’s bloom October is here for you.

My Scamtember

Shutterstock imagery

#blogging #scamtember

I usually liken myself to the first son in the parable of the sons Matthew 21(read it) .
Am here fulfilling a pledge to Uncle B hope you have followed his series on scamtember , they are relatable and hilarious but also honest and I applaud his brevity to share. (Check this one out
Who ever willingly writes of the times they didn’t come out heroes.
Don’t show us the plane you took show us the rivers you waded through that right there is the real hope.

Well let’s hope into it. I wish the scammers in my life knew my friends they would know they have debated ages on what kind of gifts to get me ,maybe then they would have succeeded in scamming me.
Have escaped approximately four scenarios but I will share of one.

Shutterstock imagery

This particular day dawned all sunshine i could swear the sun rose at midnight, it was one of those days ,work had gone great, ministry was exhilarating, had come from an amazing weekend.
I opted to step out to take a stroll instead of having lunch.
My favourite song then came on full blast ,picked it from my pocket checked the number ,didn’t recognize it but with the mode i was in I shrugged “what the heck”.

Shutterstock imagery

Picking the phone call was not a smart choice then.
The background was clattered with loud music (the kind of music I had long left behind), and this guy who clearly was having an extremely better day i could have downplayed my happiness then.
In a loud excited voice he called me by my mother’s names saying you are a lucky winner (technically one of my numbers is registered in my mum’s names ) I had to adjust to being called Matilda and not Connie and no i wasn’t guilty the phone is mine it was just my mothers name heheh.

The man was too excited i wanted to tell him to calm down ,he quickly caught on that my reaction wasn’t all daisies.
He went ahead to ask me to dial a certain code on my phone (see telecom companies have too many codes most times the new ones are introduced to me by my brothers).
I asked why he said oh you will receive extra minutes.
I dialed the code and indeed i received about 75minutes thou it didn’t excite me ,i rarely make phonecalls anyway.

Still sensing my reluctance, he went ahead to ask me so many questions I started frowning at my shoes because i didn’t like the line of questioning.
Where do I work? Who do I live with? How much do I earn?
Most of these were answered non satisfactory. For a moment the man lost his temper meanwhile the music was still blasting he would pause and shout a message across to someone else.

He got angry at me and said I don’t act like a winner ( you would think I would know what i have won by now), he said i wasn’t in the least bit excited or happy . He asked “Did i really want this ?’

Courtesy shutterstock imagery

Classic act from don’t mess I hang up and now am thinking sssh i can afford to lose anything with that kind of disrespect.

Maybe the hang up did the trick who knows , the man called again.
Why did I pick up the phone again?
Most probably i was still on the high or maybe I was curious who knows.

The man didn’t apologize sadly but he went on to say i had won a car and they were bringing it to wherever i was.
Quick thinking I told them oh great bring it to my workplace (atleast there would be a bunch of people to witness anyway).
Interestingly they got the address and assured me they were bringing the car .

Bangkok news

At this point I dared to see myself in a car ,i started to determine how fast i would learn to drive ,I could feel my hands on the wheel ,my feet fidgeting to figure out a clutch, a break or even just seeing the corners i would find hard to navigate.

The euphoria feeling lasted a few minutes, then he was back to questions. He started to explain things that sounded so far fetched and how i had to send money to change the cars names into my names so i could drive it that day etc.

You would think they were asking for change and that is how i sensed the car slipping out of my hands and slowly recited vanity can easily overtake wisdom.

I hang up and immediately made a call to my father telling him the whole ordeal maybe i was secretly hoping he would send the asked amount and say it’s real.
He comforted me with more hilarious tales of his people he heard who got conned in similar manners and applauded me on being wise.

If only he knew that was one of the longest phonecalls i ever had and it’s etched in my memory.

Shutterstock imagery

They say no harm done no foul done , i say a thief is a thief no matter the victim.

It’s safe to say in Uganda you receive more wrong calls than you bargained for.
Recently watched MTN giving Cash prizes the number of people who didn’t believe their phonecalls shows exactly where we stand.

Have you shared your scamtember story yet?
Adios ,till next time.

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