Friend Ships

All relationships are important but we are narrowing it down to friendships. We shall be having a two part conversation on friendship.
It’s about the women and well we will also get to see if women and men can actually be friends.

Today we cover women friendships.
Friends are family we choose, they are the brothers and sisters you never had and are there in any given situation.
Sounds nice hey! Any girl with besties knows this feeling .

Some say friendship is the hardest thing to explain and it cannot be learned.

Why am I talking about friends?
Because they are pivotal part of our lives, they can make you, they can break you, they can build you . They can have quite an influence that you carry through life.

I believe most times we get in trouble because we dont define friendships, yes we do not.

Aristotle wrote on different kinds of friendships.

Proverbs 11:30 The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends.

Friendships of utility. These are people you benefit from. These are friends who may be in your life to help you on your journey to the next, or fulfilling your purpose.
These can be seasonal but not forgotten. Never forget those that helped you.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”

Friendships of pleasure. These exist to make you happy. It’s whose company you enjoy your get to have a good time with them.

John 15:12-13 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Friendships of good. These are by mutual understanding and respect. These usually are around for a longer period of your life.
They love you at all times and are born for times of adversity.

God knows our desire to be known and to be loved and created us for companionship.

One thing friendship thrives on is trust.
There must be a comfort level no matter what kind of friendship it is.

Unfortunately trust also opens us to being easily hurt it’s kind of inevitable so we must know that you will be disappointed one way or the other and you must learn to forgive.

It is scientifically proven that friends help one survive ,it ignites the part of the brain that makes us feel good. It also extends life expectancy.

Friendship is important and many times it will be those you choose.

Let’s look at a few examples of friendships in the Bible.

Naomi and Ruth, they may have been kinsmen but they also portrayed a loyalty, faithfulness and sticking closer than a brother.

David and Jonathan were friends instantly. Have you met those friends that you just hit it off?

Daniel, Mesach, Abednego and Shadrach. These depicts a life long friends. They grew alongside eachother and got into the political offices of Babylon.

Job and his friends, even after he lost everything they stuck around to the end.

There are so many amazing examples of friendships but we can’t wind this without knowing some of the decisions we make choosing friends come with consequences.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character.

If we had known why our parents deliberately fought off some friends we had, maybe we could have saved ourselves that drama.
It’s true when they say show me your friends and I will show you who you are.
Yes even for the negative side you tuck away ,if they are thieves and you accepting of the behavior you are a thief too. Ouch! But it’s true.

Proverbs 19:4 Wealth makes many “friends”; poverty drives them all away.

It is very true some friends you have them for what you can offer ,it’s not a bad thing it means you have something to give anyway and some friends will walk away when you don’t have what to offer.
Know them!

Proverbs 12:26 The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

Kindly note there is good and bad advice. The results will always speak for themselves you don’t have to wait till the end thou. Get away when you can.

Proverbs 17:9 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Am certain many friendships have been lost along the way because of unforgiveness.
It’s true ,what they tell most people is that forgiveness is for them but they forget to tell them it’s okay to forgive and not be best friends because to each his own. Everyone has what they can tolerate or cannot.
Forgive because yes it’s mostly for you.

Proverbs 18:19 An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.

If you can avoid an argument please do, understanding eachother and agreeing to disagree doesn’t have to be an argument.

Proverbs 11:9 With their words, the godless destroy their friends, but knowledge will rescue the righteous.

Know when they say they may forget what you said but not how you made them feel.
It doesn’t cost to be kind, you don’t have to be mean to get a point across.

Proverbs 11:13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.

Value the things your friends tell you in confidence they trusted you.

Learn to value , appreciate and celebrate your friends. They are a gift even if you don’t know how long some may last.
Be grateful to those who make you happy, to those who make you grow, to those who hold your hand, to those who are never seen.

This is by no means a message from one of perfection but from experience , wisdom and observation on the life she has lived yet.
Thanks for passing by. Catch part 2 this Saturday.

Single and Saved

Welcome back from the “Are you woman enough series” it was quite an interesting experience, collaborating especially with a male view in perspective. It’s good to know that there men thinking of you too and building a partnership Gods way. Incase you missed it ,link in here

Today i thought i would talk of this sect especially since it always lies in the middle of relationships. On a scale ,most people who are single are either being taught on how to be their best in the next relationship or how to avoid a bad relationship. Today i just want to talk about being Single.

I will not be speaking for all single women am speaking from a place of experience and the ladies i have met along the journey that are single too.

This particular one is on single and saved. I wouldn’t mind hearing from one who is single and unsaved . Feel free to reach me…platforms find attached at the end.

Somebody is single with a reason obviously. Some by choice, some as a place of waiting, some as a place of healing, some as a place of rediscovery, some as a place of growth etc.
I recently came across a tweet that asked “Why are you single and at that age ? Like why?”
Do you sometimes feel a need to speak up? Of course! But do you have to, No.

It doesn’t help when a guy approaches you and the only line they can come up with is how are you this beautiful and single.
Np : Guys that’s a total turn off you just went from friend to whatever.

So why single and at this age.

Unfortunately culture has had its way long enough too and i understand when some women fringe at this and end up settling. Some are afraid of what their friends might say or think or even ask themselves if they consider them losers.
Culture doesn’t help ,the aunts and grandparents are always waiting on a marriage like it’s their source of happiness.

Hehehe it was amusing when scientific weddings were declared it sparked a conversation with my parents and for once my father agreed a small wedding is possible ,this is because in my family small has never been an option. Most times i laugh about it ,it’s nice having all these people but not always necessary.

Back to the point, dear single girlfriend the worst part is not being single it’s being in a relationship where you end up feeling alone.

In the old days according to the Bible ,a virgin not yet betrothed was a single woman. A widow even if had once tasted of the marriage, when they lost their spouse they were single it’s why God allowed the widows to remarry. We don’t remain married to dead people as heaven will have it there is no Marriage in heaven.

Luke 2:36-38 And there was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old, having lived with her husband seven years from her maidenhood, And as a widow even for eighty-four years. She did not go out from the temple enclosure, but was worshiping night and day with fasting and prayer. And she too came up at that same hour, and she returned thanks to God and talked of [Jesus] to all who were looking for the redemption (deliverance) of Jerusalem.

Anna was a prophetess ,gosh she had been a widow so long i believe it was her choice to choose to spend her days at the temple. She was one of those that waited on the promise of a saviour and was able to behold the promise come to pass. She spent her time Worshipping and praising God.

There are actually quite a number of women in the Bible who were single, died single and still accomplished their tasks at hand.

The one person that amazes me is Paul,yes he is a man but with today’s culture it would be hard to be a single man. Some argue that Paul could have been married before coming to Christ but well it’s ok to walk the Bible but not add what isn’t in it.
Paul’s had interesting things to say on this topic.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (msg version) I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.

Paul simply meant to say it’s alright to be single and happy.

Don’t be scared to be alone and Don’t be scared to like it.

I cannot say that all single people are content but as i mentioned earlier everyone is there for a reason.

I have had friends who asked me to pray for them to marry and true to Gods Faithfulness he did it i joke about this with some friends that i have the anointing for that hehehe it’s worked everytime and some are still waiting.

I have met ladies who will tell you i really want to date but am afraid am a mess and it’s alright. I tell them to keep on learning, growing the one who loves them for who they are will definitely show up. Again God is faithful.

I have also met ladies who say you know what. For now i want to be single that is “for now” meaning they are in a season of choice.

Some ladies will also take their time because be rest assured they see and hear you married friends and sometimes what they are seeing is not what they pictured so they have to make peace with what picture they want to build for themselves and maybe it takes healing, more sacrifice etc.

Others will tell you am just afraid. And yes who wouldn’t be if they have experienced or witnessed the worst. Again time works it all out.

I have met some who will say i don’t want to get married. The first one I met was back in 2016 she was the most joyful person i ever met she was approaching her 40s and she was a sight to behold ,beautiful and graceful. She was pushing her career, serving in church and looked after quite a number of children not her own.

I personally believe whatever is meant to be yours will eventually come. Don’t school anyone on time the only master on time is the one who made it. Time and chance happens to all. (Ecclesiastes 9:11)

Assumptions of people projected on the single ladies.
If you can help it , learn your assumptions are not always true in fact many times you are wrong.

No one has approached them yet. This can be true but it can also mean they have not met someone who can change their mind.

Single people are unhappy. I would laugh but it hurts some out there. Remarks like ” You look good ,did you meet someone?” Woah! Hold up! So for someone to have rest ,be at peace , be happy needs a man. No it doesn’t! It only means one is becoming better at loving themselves and they are enjoying it.

There is something wrong with someone being single at a certain age.
Well well are you the perfect one.
It’s called comparative superiority ,you may not even know your doing it but you gauge someone’s happiness by where you at and that my dear is not the truth it’s your truth.

Single people want to be married so you go ahead and matchmake them with every male in their life. As i mentioned some ladies are happy where there at ,if they want to be married God will do it for them as he did for you. Have faith dear friend.
Stop matchmaking them too, many times the questions have already crossed their minds or even had not thought about it and you plant a seed. We know you mean well but most times it looks desperate on your end and you make the single person feel like so now am not good enough for you.

Because you are married you want them to act a certain way.
Hey sister see you got married not them, it means they still possess the freedom to dress ,move ,speak ,be who they want to be and most times that’s what you looked like before you got married. Yes she will go out her way not to embarrass you but don’t turn her into a wife before she is one. Be patient with them as they were with you.

These are just a few of them ,there many more and maybe the rest will share.

There is a distinct line between one who is married and who is single and we are not blind to that. Many ask why relationships change after people get married.

It’s simple the differences draw the line, expectations of each other change, conversations, needs change , alot changes and unless you have honest conversations with each other as friends you may drift apart and that’s alright. New seasons also bring new people along the way.

With women we are good story tellers in our heads that’s why if you haven’t had the conversation don’t think of the other person as the one who wronged you they are probably thinking it too or genuinely wish you well and happy to cheer you on from a distance.
If you really don’t want to lose the relationship talk to them.
PS; The conversation is easier if the married one starts it, think about it.

Single and saved
You are beautiful and worthy
God sees you. Your dreams are Valid
Travel ,Explore,Dance,Create
Serve with all of you if you want to
Do spontaneity if you want to
Keep dreaming and never stop.

Love yourself first because that’s who you will spend the rest of your life with.

NP: Thank you for reading , I did not cover on everything i would love to hear from all different sides I know men who are single (feel free to reach out)we would love to hear from you. I know some are single and unsaved (would love to hear how you navigate that side of life) etc.
Ready to host you. Stick around for the women’s month.

To all ladies your specially invited to an online annual Ladies meeting this month, for details check on my Facebook and Twitter account.

Find me
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/connie.ahebssaxi

Twitter
https://twitter.com/DiaConnie?s=08

Instagram
ConnieDiaAhebs

Men as partners not adversaries.

Mr and Mrs Obama

Are you woman enough? series part 3.

By Rogers M. Wanambwa & Connie Dia

Wanambwa

As we conclude this series, it is imperative that we not leave men behind in our conversation lest the essence of it goes moot since women do not operate in a vacuum but in conjunction with men.

Men therefore also have an equally important role in this and women should not forget that, neither should men.

In order for women to blossom, men have to work with them to realize the women’s dreams. Let me expound on that:
A girl’s father is a very important role model for her; as in he is the canvas for the type of man she will want to marry in future.

A father is a protector of this little girl and also is supposed to be a provider and also fathers are emulated by their sons who will be future husbands to someone else’s daughters.
Just that one example goes to show how a man’s presence or absence in his children’s lives will greatly affect them throughout their lives and also the people that will be in their lives in the future.

For a girl and in turn woman to have self esteem and go out to conquer, her upbringing is of vital importance and this includes her interactions with the men in her young life. If they cheered her on, advised her, supported her causes, she’ll be a winner in what she does and will not back down from fights.

Here I use a father to represent all the men a girl’s young life and consequently her adult life.
So one may ask how about the women in her life? You see, consciously or subconsciously, we all seek approval of the males in our lives because generally speaking, it is the hardest to get(men are not really good at expressing emotions as women and so their ‘good job’ comes from far).

Of course, as men, we should look at women as counterparts and not inferiors or adversaries. Contrary to what culture and society had imposed on us, women are and throughout the ages have proved to be as good as or even in some circumstances better at everything men do.

While creating a woman, God created a woman because of a need. Meaning she is not just here for decoration or just a flimsy thing. She was created to be a helper.

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
Genesis:2:18, KJV

Helpers if you notice cannot be weaker than you, either they’re of equal strength or they’re stronger. So a woman, who is a man’s helper is essentially his equal or even stronger than him in some circumstances.
Like which ones? Glad you asked.
Like in having a pregnancy for nine months and delivering a child. Beat that.

Women have gone on to perform in all spheres of life and excelled. In the army, in politics and legislation, in administration and judiciary, in educating the future generation, in building and construction and engineering. Even in the new sphere of technology, data and the IoT.

So should men be scared of women taking over their jobs?
I don’t think so. Unless you are to be scared of your fellow man taking it. Are you then competent enough there?
I believe we are achieving more and bettering our lives through having women in all the spaces they are in nowadays and we as men should support them as they have throughout the ages. By complementing each other, we can take on the world.
Let Connie conclude this series:

Partners.

Connie Dia

We are visitors on this earth and one day we shall all leave. God asked this earth be subdued not by just you woman but by Us (Man and Woman) and this where the man is coming into play.

Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it [using all its vast resources in the service of God and man]; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves upon the earth.

As we conclude this series I hope that all the powerful women reading and yet to read will understand that with man it’s a partnership and not a competition.

Maybe some women activist groups have pushed agendas but not made the goals clear because how does one come from fighting for equal rights ( equal access to all things ) to believing they can do without men.
We have brewed anger from the doings of boys who were not raised and used this anger to distort our very own responsibilities.
See we are equal but different , we cannot do things the same way. We are different by design and by how we execute duties.
Different does not mean lesser , Different just means different.

Look around at every situation where the picture is distorted and you will see toil, pain, suffering. A man once paused a question. “Look at a family headed by a husband and wife and a family headed by either only a man or woman and tell me what you see”. God set the picture for a functioning home. But so much continues to go on around us domestic violence, rape, abuse, dysfunctional families have been on a rise.

But what’s the use of the knowledge we pick up. To apply it right!
Now that you know the next man is not your competition let’s learn to work alongside eachother, this applies in families, work, politics.
And I hope that the men today will groom better fathers because it works when each is playing their role.

Don’t rush to look around it starts with you.

For a Christian the best way you could ever preach the Gospel is let people see your life. A General once said “Preach if necessary use words.”
You ought to be a written epistle words are just a supplement.
You are a light and they are always watching. I have been blessed to witness broken families come back together, husbands repent of being harsh to their wives just because of being taught.

It’s never too late nor too early to raise the next generation.

Woman you are a force in a weaker vessel ,yes the man has strength but it is meant to protect not use it for wrong. Woman your gentleness wins over way more than any fight.

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].

Against such things there is no law.

Our generation and that of our children will face it’s share of crisis just like every generation in the past. When those calls come, Will you be ready? The answer depends on how we educate the next children.

Thank you to those that have followed the series we hope you can pick something worthwhile.

A special thanks goes out to Rogers Wanambwa he has helped practice what we been writing about. He made this topic come alive when it was just in my head and he made a good partner. Toast to a taught and learned future generation. Find him at wanamworld.wordpress.com

Are you woman enough? series (Part 2).

A Purposeful Woman

By Rogers M. Wanambwa & Connie
Dia

In this 21st century, women are embracing their position more and more and this is a good thing. However, how this is being done sometimes is questionable and we are going to look into that in this article.

In Proverbs 31, we find a woman who is well-rounded and one that can deliver quite an impressive amount of work all the while maintaining the glory of being a Godly woman and we want to look into this woman’s aspects and how they relate to today’s position of the woman.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
Proverbs:31:10, KJV

For some reason, today’s generation believes women were nothing more than house wives in the past. But when you read in the history books, and even the Bible itself, you’ll find that women had a purpose more than just birthing children and raising them plus catering for their husbands.
Women were also involved in business as seen in Proverbs 31:16,24. We see a woman who controls finances and even buys and owns property.
“She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.”
Proverbs:31:16, KJV
“She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.”
Proverbs:31:24, KJV

The pride of her husband comes from her being wise, honourable and good with finances as seen in verse 23 and 25.
“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

Proverbs:31:28, KJV
In this verse, we see that because of her being a purpose led woman, both her children and husband give her praise(in essence respect). Obviously, respect is earned and not demanded on both the side of men and women.
So it is not that women were dormant beings from time memorial, they have always been a pillar of society.

Let’s look into African history.
Women were expected to run the home, and here I mean, the property, land dealings and animals if any available. In fact, a woman’s bride price was mostly based on her ability to perform these tasks.
The same was expected of a man. In essence, both partners were expected to know how to run a family. For some reason, we are being made to believe women never have any say in anything.

However, if you read our history, you’ll find African queens like . Amina the Queen of Zaria Nigeria, Kandake – the empress of Ethiopia, Makeda – The Queen of Sheba, Ethiopia, Nefertiti – Queen of Ancient Kemet, Egypt, and Queen Nandi – Zulu kingdom, South Africa. These women ruled in different centuries and millennia, showing that women did indeed hold power too in Africa.
Women today should take up their mantle and be the great people they are. Let’s hear from a great woman.

Connie

The status of women has changed gradually over time , their roles and status have been debated way before i made it on earth.
Today a woman has shown to be essential in the historic, economic,political factors.

Today we chat on Woman and Work. Am not sure how people started to split roles and somehow these roles were defined and it has taken so much to prove that women are more than the boundaries that had been set.

Let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman. Educate a woman and you educate a village. Many don’t realise the Proverbs 31 was a prophecy from a mother to a king. A Great Woman teaching her son. She may have heard her reasons for teaching him profoundly on this but today many ladies have set it as a standard. We are not going to debate today if it’s a standard or not but we are going to look at some of these aspects she speaks on the woman.

Proverbs 31:13-14 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

Proverbs 31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

Proverbs 31:24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth [it]; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

Am reminded of a conference i attended and the man cautioned the husbands against purchasing items without the women’s knowledge. A woman considers a field, he went further to demonstrate everytime he purchased a field without the wife something went wrong , everytime he purchased something with the wife it had grown ten times more by then.

It’s an interesting notion but see when God created the woman ,she was a helper. In a company the owner is not the one who makes the company it’s the people who work within that make it great. A helper is an expert of sorts.
History will serve you right.

Some may say but Proverbs 31 revolves around the wife. I know , i know a single woman seemingly has to find her place in society. I wonder how Naomi and Ruth navigated as widows. Their husbands were no more and had to fend for themselves surprisingly the Bible doesn’t say they died from hunger. Being a helper is custom made for a woman. Eve was first a woman before she birthed children for Adam. So are you single? You still have alot to contribute on this beautiful earth. Don’t wait to marry and work, Work and if marriage comes celebrate if it doesn’t still celebrate, marriage is not a commandment.

From the likes of Miriam Makeba, Wangari Mathaai, Winnie Mandela to Ellen Johnson Sir-leaf ,Joyce Banda, Sahle-work Zewde, Chimamanda Ngozi.
Christian women like Serita Jakes, Sarah Jakes Roberts, Lisa Bevere, Priscilla Shirer and many more.

Female writers ,artistes, politics, business gurus. They have risen and shown that a Woman is more than domestic ,she is a partner worth having.

Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it [using all its vast resources in the service of God and man]; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves upon the earth.

Woman you have a purpose and may you rise to it. Catch you on Part there tomorrow. Find Wanambwa at wanamworld.wordpress.com

Queen of Sheba

I made it

My Afro Bloggers badge😉😉

I was waiting for a moment but i realised the moment was every second i was part of the Winter ABC challenge. It birthed me, it moulded me and here iam saying it’s all because of Afrobloggers.

Afrobloggers thank you, asante sana, merci beaucoup, Gracias, Danke ,Ngiabonga.

Proudly showing off the badge ,they are such a place to belong. Let’s keep the community growing. Follow them at http://afrobloggers.org.zw/

The Genesis

Are you woman enough?(series)
Part 1
The Genesis
By Rogers M. Wanambwa & Connie
Dia

Wanambwa

In order to answer this question, we need to go back to the genesis of mankind and see what the purpose of each gender(we will focus on the woman in this series) was and how history has distorted the role and consequently, the position of women.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”
Genesis:1:27, KJV
According to the Bible, God created both the male and female gender of our species and it is not written anywhere in this creation story that one of them would be more dominant than the other.
In fact, according to Genesis 1:28, both man and woman were given the power to dominate earth, together.
“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”
Genesis:1:28, KJV

One then starts to wonder why women feel they’re lesser than men? Is it history that has brought this or something else? We’ll discuss this in detail in this series and how the woman can regain her rightful place.
In Genesis 3:16, we get to see the beginning of this problem that has persisted todate. That is, the religious bit of the problem.
“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
Genesis:3:16, KJV
Many a person, especially the radical religious people, have used this verse to bring down women. However, just as is the case for other misconceptions and misinterpretations of the Bible, you cannot read a text without putting it into context and get the full meaning and picture of the story.

Clearly, God does not view women as lesser than men since throughout the Bible, he continuously uses them to fulfill His purpose. I’ll give some examples like Esther who saves Israel, Ruth, the Moabite, whose lineage births Jesus Christ the world’s savior, Mary the mother of Jesus, and so on.
To think that God made women lesser than men and not see how He punished all mankind for their folly would be err in perspective.

Culturally, many of our cultures have always viewed women as lesser and because it is men who were the leaders and rulers in most of them, their way is what was followed. Perhaps in trying to protect their women, men made laws that would later be used by unscrupulous individuals to degrade the woman’s position.

Connie Dia

Are you woman enough!?
This is a question many women have silently asked themselves everytime they are met with what they haven’t mastered to perfection or rather what was beyond their control.

Have you met a woman trying to have a child? I have met them and some even confided in me, I see you wondering why they would talk to an unmarried girl; well it really depends on who’s listening.
Have you met a Girl who cannot whisk the best meals in her home? Honestly she is learning but the eyes of her mother in law pore through her. Culture is not all bad but there was a time it didn’t bother with the why but further degraded a woman. It’s only today that we see the woman is a good partner and has alot more to offer.

Have you met a woman who is concious of her looks that she will dress like it? This can bounce from showing it to prove a point or overly covering it to mask away what doesn’t make her feel woman enough.
She needs to get the lighting right ,she spends much time selecting the photos. For who? I recently watched a show where a lady said she will post pictures just to feel beautiful and it makes others who may post for entirely different reasons look like it’s the why.
Are you woman enough you ask? So you show it.

Have you tried to prove a point? Have you gone out of your way to show what a strong woman you are?( Strong here is a term everyone is strong in their own way as life is a series).
If you’re fighting for a right then you’re admitting that the other party have the power over your right.
Do they?

This series will not be presenting validity it will be presenting truth .

A wise man once said “To understand something always go back to the beginning”.
Genesis 2:21-22 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
The lord made a Woman. Was there any perequisite to be one? God formed you ,he made you wonderfully.
God made everything and saw it was good ,he made man and knew he couldn’t do life alone . He made you.
Today we are not talking about talents or the why all am saying is you are a woman by design of a Maker.

Alas, You are a woman and by default, do not need to prove yourself. You’re already perfect because perfect God made you(created you), just as he made and created man.

We’ll expound more tomorrow in Part 2. Stick around.

Tragedy with the seatbelts.

Welcome to July loves

A New Month is here and you know what they say “New Month New Beginnings”. Am not sure who says that but it works for me each time. Am literally the kind who will leave you in the past month and get amnesia along the way hehehe only applicable to the wrong vibes.

Thought I would welcome you to a new month.
The Tragedy with Seatbelts, if i had known this a few years ago i would have spent more time paying attention to my inner self.
See a Seatbelt is meant to hold you in place , seemingly protect you but this is where perception takes a twist.

A Seatbelt is alright if you leave it in the car it is different when you walk with it everywhere you go.
I know i know , the Rona has taken a toll on us it’s now what!! 5months of uncertainty for some, crushed hopes for others ,New Dreams for yet another et cetera.
At this point we have known the two sides of the coin and important lessons to be learned but before we take the journey of learning.

Am here as a kind reminder to say it’s alright you can breathe.
Yes we want rules but there are no set rules.
Its alright to make the best of a situation, it’s alright to cry, it’s alright to lay down a little longer ,it’s alright to start over. For those who are far away this shows the space around you is beginning to grow vast, be happy with your growth, be gentle with those who stay behind.
And I hope you see the things you never noticed before. I hope you learn new things even as small as watching the birds in the skies fly. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you make new friends with different perceptions.
For What’s Worth it’s never too late or too early .

Ecclesiastes 9:11 I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

Happy Julery Beautiful People.

N.P: Stay tuned ,this month has something special for the ladies lined up and anyone who willing to share this platform you are welcome.
We are going to be talking about the Purposeful Woman.

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Asante Afrobloggers

I remember the first day i set my eyes on the Afrobloggers #Winterabc2020 challenge, am not sure how they propped up in my tweet following but they did, because i had made up my mind to finally start blogging i jumped in on it. I saw the questions and thought “Connie your in way over your head” but you know that other companion in the head ,she nudged me and said “Just do it anyway”. Thus the journey began, it has been, for lack of words very exhilarating, exciting, a whole journey of learning.

I had never gone a month without reading a book I didn’t touch a book this month ,how crazy is that.

Afrobloggers you opened a whole new world for the people, you made dreams of a calm quiet lady come true across borders, you created a community of writers who respect eachother , you created a platform for Africa as One and you continue to create .

Iam thankful iam not where I was yesterday.
I have made more friends ,mentioning names involves me writing up lists. I rose from 2 followers to 73 followers. I rose from God knows how many views to 1,218views.
To be honest am not one to muse over stats but i have learned to be thankful maybe the season had alot to do with that growth too.
At the back of my mind the blog was about me getting all this information i have learned over years out of my system i didn’t check to know who would be reading. Here we are.

This is starting to feel like a letter but oh well am a bucket of emotions, it had become a constant ,it’s letting go of routine. My emotions are mostly gratitude and hope to finish what i started.
So Afrobloggers Thank you for the many more words am not able to say ,May they be shown in your fruits. Thank you dear bloggers ,many of you have been quite a dose of support, the nation’s that checked in are overwhelming Uganda thanks for the love, Zimbabwe how didn’t I know you before now we kindred spirits, Zambia, Ghana , Germany,C Cameroon,Gambia, Kenya, Malawi and even across continents Switzerland, Sweden, Canada, Bulgaria, Finland, Malaysia, France, Hong Kong,Ukraine, Denmark, UAE can’t exhaust the list ,don’t hesitate to shout out.

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.

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To Forget or Not 2

The challenge has been a whole networking program and am still trying to wrap my head around June getting done. Thank you to all that have supported, pushed, even those who just watch the views don’t match the comments and its okay. I will save the rest for Tuesday. I decided to continue part of the creative story to see if I can keep up the flow.

She had let go…..

Moz lay still on the bed as he heard her sobbing in the bathroom. He had a bad dream again and he woke up to Rebba sobbing.
It all unraveled so quickly yesterday, he bit his lips as he winced at some of the words he had thrown at her. “If only you followed the diet we could have had this one, it was only a few more days.” He knew it wasn’t her fault but he couldn’t bring himself to apologize, not yet. He was still afraid, he remembered the last conversation he had with his Mother. Now the Elders are involved, Aunt Pola had found the girl.
Punching the pillow he wondered how they dared to do that. What boundaries didn’t culture cross? Just when he thought earning a PHD Doctorate could make him escape there prying questions and their unwanted help. Even that couldn’t save him, they just couldn’t mind their own.
Mum was supposed to protect me not side with them he thought as he rolled and tried to cover his ears from the sounds coming in from the bathroom.

This was the fifth child, how could they make it from here. How could they go on? What was left?
He remembered when he had just met Rebba, they were the perfect painting,how many heads turned where they passed, parents approved the moment they set their eyes on her. He remembered she once asked him “What if I can’t have children what would you do?” He narrowed his eyes wondering if she knew something he didn’t but he quickly shook the thought away. Impossible, one thing Rebba was is honest to the boot. It sometimes got her in trouble but he loved for it. It meant she would ask the hard questions and no answers were off limit with her.
Rebba is special he knew it then ,he knew it even now.
How to move from here?

Just then he heard the click of the bathroom door, he rolled on his side and kept the pillow over his head not willing to face it all yet…..

Let’s Talk

Let’s talk no let’s not,
Words complicate it all.
Do I know what you thinking?
Maybe not but i care that the words are soft to my heart
Do I want to hear it, maybe ! Only when the words are soft to my heart.

Let’s talk no let’s not,
The time is passed.
You could have told me then but now
i rather not
Do I want to hear it?, Maybe only when the words match my heartbeat.

Let’s talk no let’s not
I want to listen but i cannot
My heart won’t let me
Do I want to hear it?, Maybe only when the words give me freedom.

Let’s talk no let’s not.